Saturday, November 16, 2013

PAX SALON, Tuesday, December 3, 6:30 P.M., Saint Paul Gallery, 943 W 7th Street, St. Paul, 55102


A STORY LIKE TRUTH by Deborah McWatters Padgett
Join us for our PAX Salon, Tuesday, December 3, for a timely discussion of Deborah’s novel that tells a true story about the long-term effects of childhood trauma on those reaching toward a life of thriving.  With the recent fervor to bring perpetrators of child abuse to justice have we forgotten to provide the victims of abuse with a system of treatment and care that will assure they thrive? Lifelong effects are legion and overlooked while perpetrators are paraded before us as if all that needs to happen is to punish the criminals.  Untreated mental illness, suicide & substance abuse are rampant in society partially because of the prevalence of crimes against children. Deborah’s books can be purchased at SubText, Chapter2 Books, Claddagh, Saint Paul Public Libraries and Amazon.com.  Visit her blog on resources toward healing at www.padgettstudios.com.
Deborah, a resident of the West 7th community of St. Paul is a frequent contributing columnist to THE COMMUNITY REPORTER, an avid reader, writer & painter as well as a survivor of childhood emotional, physical and sexual abuse in the context of family.  

November 23, 2013

A STORY LIKE TRUTH: Readers' Discussion Guide

Owning Your Story
Writing autobiographical narratives can be therapeutic according to many trauma experts, writers and therapists. Still, “facing the truth” by simply telling the world your story cannot in and of itself heal the inner world of trauma.
We know that early trauma has permanent consequences—you don’t outgrow it, you don’t get over it, the broken parts of the psyche may not be capable of learning anything new. If A Story Like Truth has a lesson to teach, it may be that the rhetoric of victory often masks pain. Ultimately, the only way to affirm the teller’s story is to reach out and to care for it—as we would the little self that is the small child in all of us.”  Miriam Rothstein, Excerpt from review of Deborah Padgett’s A STORY LIKE TRUTH

[Author’s Note:  The author completed her story in 2001 and just prior to publication in 2012 she made editorial changes but did not add details regarding the life of Miriam beyond the point of finding refuge and solace and a forward motion in her living.

{Discussion notes for presentation: Brief discussion concerning “the years since…”   Why are “the years since” an issue? Or are they?}

1.  “Pain is real.  Suffering is optional.”   In a story like truth how does Miriam deal with her pain?
  • ·                          As a child
  • ·                     As a young adult
  • ·                      Finally


2.  Readers have commented about Miriam’s internal dialogue, musing, imagining and intellectualizing.  Why do you think her character was presented this way? What does it say about Miriam’s psychological state and her relationship to others?

3.  What is your understanding of the long-term effects of childhood trauma? Are the effects the same regardless of the perpetrators being home/family or trusted other in clergy/school? What might be the differences?

4.  What resources are currently available to aid in healing victims of abuse?

5.  Do you think more attention should be brought to prosecution & accountability or is the current system satisfactory?  What benefits accrue to victims through prosecution/accountability of perpetrators?

6.  What do you think survivors of abuse are seeking in sharing their stories?

7.  What role does shame play, overall, in stories of childhood abuse? For perpetrators, public, family, the victim?

8.  Were you surprised by Miriam’s letter to her father?  If so, in what way?  If not, how did it make sense to you?

9.   Do you believe society carries more blatant outrage regarding sexual abuse or physical violence toward children?  If a child suffers from a combination of the two are the effects similarly damaging or intensified or something else entirely?

10.  How do the effects of abuse reveal themselves in the lives of the individuals who experienced the abuse?  What kind(s) of support would it be good to bring to bear and/or make apparent to such individuals?

11.  Do you consider yourself to be fully aware of the instances of childhood abuse and the circumstances appropriate as response to its occurrence?  Would you share some of your knowledge?

12.  If you suffered from sexual/physical/emotional abuse would you consider telling/sharing your story?  Why or why not?  As a survivor, thriving or otherwise, do you find help or comfort in the stories of other individuals with similar experience to yours?  Do their stories trigger pain and suffering in you?

13.  One reader added this point for discussion: “victims of abuse usually think it’s their own fault. This often leads to needy behavior later because they always feel that need to compensate for being “bad.”  What about the “Needy” construct?  Do you think that people share their stories, songs & pictures because they are “Needy”?  The desire to be seen and acknowledged as having value perhaps comes into play here.  Some believe freedom comes with a deep-down knowing we have value regardless of acknowledgement.  More often than not it is important to steer clear of people whose message is “you have little or no value.”  Sometimes it is difficult for a person who does not value him/herself to discern whether being dismissed or valued because their emotional filter needs adjustment. 

Consider your own thinking in regard to individuals you know who struggle with mental illness, depression or who have been victimized/traumatized by violence (sexual or otherwise).  Is there an assumption of “neediness?”  When they begin to share their story do you sometimes label them as “needy” as a way to move away from the painful experience of being near them?

Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and even situational Bi-Polar Disorder are often diagnosed in individuals traumatized as children.  In LOSING CLEMENTINE, Ashley Ream’s character with Bi Polar disease says this: “The thing about being crazy is that you know you are even when you can’t do anything about it.  You know how you look to other people, and the shame of it is almost worse than the thing itself.” P. 248

What are your thoughts on the above quote as they relate to individuals recovering from childhood trauma?

link from this site to blog about OUR STORIES NOW



A Couple of New Links (Resources) for all you Thrivers!

Meditation Site You Might Like


Friday, October 11, 2013

Uplifting and Healing Resources: New Contributions

From my summer sanctuary at Itasca State Park
I haven't added posts here for some time now but that doesn't mean I've forgotten the importance of community in my own growth or that of my fellow travelers.  My moment to moment and daily quest toward peace building through compassionate living grows richer by the hour.  I've added some links today to books and sites you may find helpful. Current involvements toward world-changing healthful living include:


  • EMDR Therapy (related to PTSD triggers) Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.  Google it if you are interested in learning what it's about.
  • An 8 week class in MINDFULNESS BASED STRESS RELIEF (relying on the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD.)  For those of you interested classes are often covered by insurance under your mental health coverage if you have a diagnosis related to childhood trauma).
  • Study and work related to NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION (I've posted a link here.  Scroll down.)
  • Regular exposure to the work of Dr. Brene Brown, Pema Chodrun, Thicht Nhat Hanh & Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
  • Yoga and Water Exercise 
  • Music, music and more music.... Dancing, singing & swaying.  Will occasionally post a play list or a selection from my daily hits.
  • Attentive to Breathing
  • Attentive to Laughter
  • Attentive to Delight
Right now outside my window I hear the crisp sound of the dried and fallen leaves blowing across the sidewalk, falling from the trees and brushing away the traces of summer.  My heart is open.  I wish you comfort and healing.

Pema Chodron: The Propensity To Be Bothered

Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition) by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Preface by Thich Nhat Hanh, Foreword by Joan Borysenko - Random House

Full Catastrophe Living (Revised Edition) by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Preface by Thich Nhat Hanh, Foreword by Joan Borysenko - Random House

Monday, May 13, 2013

THIS IS TO MOTHER YOU... & POWER OF TWO YouTube

My dear and loving daughter sent me this for Mother's Day

I think it's such a good addition for anyone visiting this blog... THIS IS TO MOTHER YOU

POWER OF TWO

Saturday, March 9, 2013

How are you really feeling? Words for your emotions part 1/3

 I have a new homework assignment and it's a tough one.  I've been asked to say how I feel when I think or experience a particular situation... And this is difficult enough because so often I use thinking words rather than feeling words.  I think I'm feeling something but, in truth I'm thinking it....  AAAAARGH!  Well, the reason this is an important exercise it that, once I've identified a feeling, I am supposed to identify where that feeling occurs in my body.  In other words, "How does that feeling manifest itself?"  I understand I get into trouble when I decide I've felt something rather than thought it and then attribute the feeling to the circumstances or individual causing me to feel a particular way...  It's faulty thinking.  I need to work on this and if you're anything like me perhaps you do too?




How are you really feeling? Words for your emotions part 1/3

Monday, January 28, 2013

ENCOURAGING WORDS REGARDING GRIEF AND AMBIGUOUS LOSS...

THE POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER SOURCEBOOK, Schiraldi:

From Chapter 28, Grieving Losses: "We grieve what we value; we grieve in proportion to our afftection." -- from memorial to Jane Austen, Winchester Cathedral.

"All the many complex issues involved in PTSD must be disentangled for recovery to proceed.  Grief is one such issue.  All events that are significant enough to cause PTSD involve loss, yet grief often gets buried in the struggle for survival.  Perhaps you were too numbed to grieve.  Perhaps you were too busy or were discouraged from grieving.  Perhaps some aspects of the trauma still feel so overwhelming that you have avoided them.  These reactions are all normal. However, continually avoiding the normal, healthy feelings of grief keep unresolved memories of loss in active memory, emotionally charged, and likely to intrude.

"Grief memories are processed much like other aspects of traumatic memories at your own pace and when you are ready.  Losses are confronted and processed so that meaningful adjustments and adaptations can be made in our lives.  Of course, adjustments can only be made if we clearly acknowledge the nature of our losses.  We can't adapt and find new ways to satisfy the void if losses are not confronted.  Losses that are buried -- not explored, experienced, and expressed -- can erupt at inopportune times, resulting in a host of physical and emotional symptoms.  The more we fear facing the pain of loss, the more we remain in bondage to the past.  So it is important to process our losses." page 248.

The above paragraphs begin a several page chapter that offers useful and comforting information to make sense of the complicated mourning that is involved in recovering from and living beyond trauma. 

I'm finding this entire book an excellent resource...  I hope you will find something here to aid in your living.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

MUSIC'S EFFECT ON PTSD AND ALZHEIMER'S SUFFERERS

http://youtu.be/goIaFST2Epw

This video lecture demonstrates the importance of music for healing and brain function for individuals who suffer from anxiety and fear.  Sleep disorders, Alzheimer's, relationship maintenance...  Well, take a look and see what you think.

Wanted to mention too a highly user-friendly book I picked up at the library last week:

THE POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER SOURCE BOOK by Glenn R. Schiraldi

http://www.amazon.com/Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder-Sourcebook-Recovery/dp/007161494X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1358283071&sr=1-2#reader_007161494X

Sunday, January 6, 2013

The SIDRAN Institute, A Link

http://www.sidran.org/sub.cfm?sectionID=1


If you are seeking further information on what you, as a survivor or a loved-one of a survivor check this website.  Lots of helpful information here.  I am still seeking a site with discussion forums related to PTSD from childhood trauma.  If you find one I would love to hear from you.  Most sites are either substance abuse related or war-trauma related.  Maybe we can help each other... 

Friday, January 4, 2013

LONG TIME SUN...

 I love to sing this song.  It makes me smile and opens my heart to loving kindness.

Long Time Sun