Bittersweet Time of the Year... Still, Blessings Abound!

The Gas Lighting technique is one familiar to victims of childhood abuse and often is a technique employed long into adulthood by an abuser and his/her supporters to influence the survivor in taking the blame/responsibility for the abuse and the long term fallout. Survivors of childhood trauma are often the victims or have been the victims of individuals with narcissistic personality disorder.  It takes time and counsel to overcome a deeply ingrained sense of being somehow "all wrong".  The survivor's sense of self and belief in their own perspective is often challenged (particularly in their family of origin if that is where the abuse occurred and denial continues in family members).   "They might harbor feelings of anger toward the person they sense is an aggressor but also find themselves thrown into positions of anxious defensiveness, which makes them feel unjustified and unsure of themselves. If their manipulator also happens to be skilled in the art of “impression management” — displaying superficial charm and enjoying the capacity to make favorable impressions on others — those on the receiving end of their tactics are likely to feel even crazier. They might say to themselves: “I’ve always thought there was something wrong with them but perhaps there really is something wrong with me. After all, everyone else seems to like them.” So, in a sense, almost all manipulative behavior produces a gaslighting effect to some degree." 

Here's a link to an interesting article about this technique:  Gas-lighting